i was feeling very low and down for the whole day, i have this experience before but dun really remember when and why. so i was just spamming nodame cantabile into my brain while enjoying its rich yet relaxing music. orchestra sure sound nice, with the overflowing emotion and feeling of everyone mixing with the theme of the song.

but nevermind, i doubt i will ever be able to attend another one. i still remember the last one is during my jc life when some japanese school band came. if only someone show me the wonder of music eariler. damn, it is all too late now.

and for the first time in my life, i had practice my piano pieces so much that my wrist had start to hurt. shit! when is it going to heal!!! now that i think back about it, i sure waste alot of time in the past playing all sorts of sports and games. and in the end, i ended up with nothing but all sorts of inuries... ha, is it really worth it? this pain and burden that i may have to carry with me all my life if not treated properly!

sorry guys, i decided. i am not going to put in any effort anymore for the army. i will just be a reserve and let my wound heal. even if i do my best, i will never be reconised since ns is all about rank, i will never be label as better no matter what vocation i am as long as rank matter. even if i am a commando still, a lowly clerk segeant can still come and pump me for no reason and i have to listen to him. i am sick of this already, this useless system! what make them better than me? nothing!

it is ok if u are not smart in the army, actaully it is better if u are dumb. they dun need solider that can think, they just need people that follow instruction like a zombie dog without any objection. as long as u are not a segeant, they will deem u as unable to think and treat u like a chess piece to be play around. and i am not going to to be play by them. i am going to join ur little act and use ur system against you. ha.

ok, enough of my complaint. i better go back to practicing my piano since time is running short on me. a few more hour before i got to book in. cyaz this friday again as usual!

sayorana!




~~Burned into ur eyes @ 5/04/2008 04:52:00 PM~~